


Runaway Grooms for a Nonexistent Wedding

by bluerosele



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Also Always Let Tom and Jean-Ralphio Plan a Double Bachelor Party, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Needs Help, Ben Unwittingly Gets Engaged According to Parks and Rec Department, Ben is Consumed by Pawnee, Chris Runs, Chris Runs A Lot, Do Not Let Tom and Jean-Ralphio Plan a Double Bachelor Party, First Kiss, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Miscommunication, emotional dumbasses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerosele/pseuds/bluerosele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a kiss, possible job relocation, processing, miscommunicated party plans into a bachelor party, and a tiger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Runaway Grooms for a Nonexistent Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> I SHIP BEN WITH LITERALLY ALL OF PAWNEE I HAVE A PROBLEM HELP ME.

Chris is a fast guy. In practically all ways, he vibrates with an energy Ben can hardly keep up. That same vitality grips Ben and Chris into a symbiotic auditing system that's transferred them through bonding road trips and situated them where they both belong. While he knows there's no way for Ben to ever measure whatever charges Chris, he follows it with a certainty he's never felt since he was seventeen. 

That being said, there are still disconnects in the cross wires. This certain shock being Chris suddenly grabbing Ben's face and kissing him, effectively cutting off the middle of their conversation about budget cuts in the new Park-- _budget_ _cuts_. It's electric and perfect, confusing and beyond comprehension, like everything Ben knows of Chris. 

Then, it's over just as fast. Chris's eyes are as wide as Ben's mouth feels. For the first time since Chris enthusiastically pointed and, just as enthusiastically shouted _Ben Wyatt!_ Chris is still. Everything is still. Ben moves his hand to hover over Chris's, which is still resting on Ben's cheek, and somehow in a very Ben-way, that's what shatters the stagnation. 

"Ben. Wyatt." Chris says with a voice too somber to be his. "I will request an immediate transfer."

Chris erupts out of his chair next to Ben's desk and sprints out the office doors. Ben's left in a cold freeze.  

"Oh- _kay_?"

* * *

It takes the course of a frantic night of Ben calling Chris's already disconnected cell, and pacing, lots and lots of pacing, for all of Pawnee, Indiana, to know what happened. Ben walks from his office which he never left, to Anne's semi-corner desk/nurse station. 

"Anne, have you seen--?"

"Oh my God, you finally did it." She exclaims, clambering over her chair towards him. He has about three seconds to catch on to her meaning, and is pummeled into a hug before he can ask if she actually is a magical psychic healing witch. "I thought you two would be too stupid. No offense, you guys are just so dumb."

Nothing in the world makes sense anymore, but he still tries, in vain, to find some reason. Grabbing her arms, he stops the momentum of their swing hug to figure out what the hell anything is anymore. "No, I--nothing happened, he--are we talking about the same--how did you--?"

"I know the face of someone who has kissed Chris Traeger." Her eyes bore into his with an esoteric knowledge of being swayed into Chris's surge.  

"Oh. _Okay_." Ben seemed to be reverting to saying this a lot is the past twelve hours but there's only so much he can input given the current situation. "So have you seen him?"

"Oh God he didn't run out on you--of course he has no wait, you guys are such idiots, hold on--" Ben is momentarily stuck on figuring out his own title of idiocy when he's the one who has literally done nothing but stand in two places freaking out about the same thing for hours, and doesn't realize Ann is pulling out her cellphone. For all of what Ben works with he'd like to consider himself somewhat good at calculating a situation, even outside of numbers, and knows too late who Ann is calling.

"Leslie? Yes--right no you're beautiful on the phone too, listen it happened--no not my haircut. Yes, I promise you'll be there for that. A bit more important. You know Operation Audit. Exactly!" Ann says flailing at the phone, with Leslie audibly Leslie-ing in response to their apparent knowledge of Ben's love life, a life he wasn't aware he had. Ben would run away but his legs aren't giving him much feedback, like everything else apparently.

"Operation Audit?"

"Yeah, Ben's here now. We don't know where Chris is. You seen him? Over at the...the hell? Ben are you guys moving to Philly?"

Ben jumps. He's just trying to figure out why his best friend kissed him and ran away. This wasn't supposed to have him move. To Philly.

"Philly--I don't know why."

"Oh-My-God-Chris's-Running-All-The-Way-To-Philadelphia." Ann rushes into one words, Leslie shrieks over the phone, and Ben wants to laugh but he can picture it and

"Oh-My-God-My-Mouth-Made-Chris-Run-All-The-Way-To-Philadelphia."


End file.
